Saturday, April 22, 2017

DEAR YOU, LOVE...ME

Foreword (a.k.a Introduction a.k.a Prologue a.ka The Part Where I Answer The Question: What the hell was I thinking?)

Dear you,
I am not the first person to do this. Many have come before me and were probably more successful at pulling off something like this. Heck, I’m doing it anyway.

I have never been good with words. At least not the spoken kind. I’ve often claimed that I am more eloquent in writing. Which is how I found myself writing my first ever letter when I was maybe six or seven years old telling my parents to give all my things to my baby sister. I don’t remember why I wrote that letter much less the rest of its contents. It was years after that little incident when I started writing again. Apart from the necessary school work that is.

When I was in first year high school, our school paper held this sort of audition for freshmen that they can add to their staff. Everyone was required to write something. I wasn’t one of the chosen four but I continued writing anyway. It wasn’t until I was a senior that one of my poems was published. Yup. I started with poems. The first ever “Dear you” letter that I wrote though, well that didn’t exist until after a fight I had with a very good friend. We haven’t spoken for some time and I had all of these things that I wanted to say and I couldn’t because we were miles apart. Calling didn’t seem to be enough. She wouldn’t pick up the phone anyway. So I wrote her a letter instead. There were several others that I wrote for her. None of them saw the light of day. She doesn’t have any idea and she never will unless she finds out and reads this.

So, what’s the big point you ask? There’s none, really. There would probably be a few entries here that would spew words of wisdom but mostly, these are words that I never really had any courage to say in-person. Like what I told another friend, at the end of the day, I am all just bravado. I’m just as scared of rejection and being misunderstood and taken out of context as much as the next person.

Which brings us to your next question: doesn’t this set me up for all that? Probably. But someone once told me that if I don’t do this, then how would “writing for a living” ever happen? He was right. I can’t be scared forever.

Which brings us here, to now and you and me. This is my heart and soul as I have never bared it to anyone before and I am scared to death. Like I said, many have come before me and many more will come who will probably be more successful at this than I would ever be. I must be crazy but here we are anyway.
Dear you who are probably reading this. If you see yourself in one of these pages than I am glad to have found a kindred spirit and I hope this makes you realize that you are not alone. I’m right there with you.

Me

No comments:

Post a Comment