Write drunk.

"Shut your mouth when you have nothing good to say."

Or so they say. 

Well sadly, for those people, I'm not that kind of person. I am more a "write-drunk-edit-sober" type. Although, unfortunately for me, I don't get drunk literally. It's just that I write best when emotions are running high. You see, I don't have much of a choice. In my head, no one will ever understand me, so I keep it all to myself. Or let's just say that, no one would really care to listen. Hence this blog--a not so filtered dump site for my thoughts and feelings(if I am even capable of any)--good or bad.

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I like my silence. Silence is my bestfriend. Me being silent is not always equivalent to me being serious. Most of the time it is just me being me. It's just me sitting with my thoughts or lack thereof. It is not about you or anybody else. Silence is my little corner. MY being the operative word. 

As much as you might not want to believe me, I am a socially awkward creature. I do not like confrontations. I cry when I get yelled at. I cry when I'm angry. Tears are my defense mechanism. next to sarcasm. I can speak well, thank you very much. I have even hosted functions before. As a very opinionated person, I am required to talk. My job requires me to talk. But when it comes to one on one conversations, that is where I suck. I can communicate well verbally. But when things get emotional, that is when I shut up. I can talk to you about politics or the justice system or anything cruel in this world. But i sledom talk about matters of the heart.No. I am more of a listener when it comes to that certain subject. 

I guess that is mainly the reason why I write. 

...to cross that bridge that they call brain-to-mouth filter. I was always taught to think before speaking. i think that is somewhere in the bible too. and when it is in the bible, then who am i to object.?

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What can you not understand???

your woes are not my woes.

your dreams are not my dreams.

i wasn't raised stupid you know.

i have a good head on my shoulders.

yet you keep treating me like an imbecile of some sort.

I don't want to be on a leash. I've been on a leash my whole life.

So no. You don't get to tell me what to do or where to go.

I am making my own decisions. If i have to make mistakes, then fine! I'll make them but i will make them on my own.

Be confident that i was raised good enough.

I am good enough.

I have my own dreams. 

I have my own plans. Not concrete yet but I have plans. 

And as of this moment, I am not certain about a lot of things.

But one thing is for sure.

I am good enough.

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okay. now i'm rambling.